Your life sucks and it’s your fault.
Isn’t it time someone cared enough about you that they shot straight? Sure. I could give you a bunch of “rah, rah” baloney. But that’s not what you need. You need to cut through the crap and hear the truth.
When life goes off-script we can generate a lot of excuses:
- “My life is screwed up because of my spouse.”
- “I inherited bad genes from my dad.”
- “Bad luck follows me everywhere I go.”
- “I’ve never gotten over the death of my child.”
If you want to turn your life around, please pack your excuses in a box and bury them in the back yard, or better yet, flush them down the toilet. It’s your life and you must take responsibility for how it has turned out. It is only when you face reality can you get your life back on track.
Here are 7 reasons your life sucks and how to fix it.
1. Your life sucks because you are self-centered.
Copernicus (1473—1543) was an astronomer and mathematician who first taught the earth revolved around the sun. This idea caused controversy and anger because it suggested we were not the center of the universe. Too bad. It was the truth.
The truth is you are not the center of the universe. It might make you angry, but it’s true.
Unless you really embrace this truth you will use people and things only for your own pleasure and gain. Like sucking a can of Pepsi dry and chucking it out the car window, you will treat people as objects until you realize this truth.
Here’s how to fix it. Find another center of the universe. I suggest you explore placing God in the center of your universe. But even if you are an atheist and place your dog in the center, it will be an upgrade. Stop being self-centered.
2. Your life sucks because you hang on to the past.
A friend once told me of a couple he was counseling in an effort to save their marriage. In the second session, the wife entered the office lugging two large ledgers. They contained a record of every wrong her husband had committed over their entire marriage. The counselor advised her to throw them out but she refused. No wonder their marriage needed to be fixed.
The same is true in your life. Each of us has a tendency to not let go of past hurts, disappointments, and broken dreams. Like the disillusioned wife, you refuse to let go of the past. Bad decision. Carrying around the painful past wears you out and keeps you looking backward instead of forward.
Here’s how to fix it. Make the decision to let go of the past. Decide you will no longer be bound by the yesterdays of life. Do whatever it takes to let go. Forgive those who have stabbed you in the back. Make peace with your enemies. See a minister or a counselor if that’s what it takes. Let go of the past.
If you want more information, check out my article on this subject entitled Today You Can Let Go of Yesterday and Be Free Tomorrow.
3. Your life sucks because you’ve been chasing the wrong things.
One of the wisest pieces of advice I ever received was this: When building your ladder of success, make sure it’s leaning against the right building. Too many people spend decades chasing money and discover they lost their family or their health has broken. Too many pro football stars retire rich but are so physically mangled they can hardly walk or think straight.
Here’s how to fix it. Slow down and evaluate what is of the most importance to you. What do you really value? Start investing time and energy in the things which really matter to you. Start chasing what’s important.
4. Your life sucks because you have given up on your dreams.
As a teen you dreamed of the future. You knew what you wanted to become. It wasn’t hard to picture your future success. But then life happened. Roadblocks and detours popped up too often. You learned it is easier to surrender your dreams instead of fighting to make them a reality. And when your dreams died, a little piece of your life died with them. No wonder your life sucks.
Here’s how to fix it. Resurrect your old dreams and find new ones. Sometimes, at this stage in life, old dreams cannot be revived. The window of opportunity to become an astronaut has passed. Don’t worry. There are more dreams waiting to be born. Start chasing your dreams.
5. Your life sucks because you ignore the good and focus on the bad.
Have you seen this video of the dogs frolicking on the beach with paralyzed hind legs strapped to a two-wheeled cart?
When you watched the video, did you notice the “smiles” and wagging tails? Not a single dog was biting at the harness. None of them tried to escape from the contraption. They focused on the good and dealt with the bad. It’s the only way for them to enjoy life.
Here’s how to fix it. If you want your life to stop sucking, you must focus on the good. Life is not perfect. There are problems. You may be suffering with unexpected health problems. But force yourself to focus on the good.
6. Your life sucks because you are stuck in a rut.
Do you like going to the zoo? It’s educational but has an element of sadness. The animals pace back and forth in their cages. If it is an outdoor exhibit there is a path worn into the ground. The animals, not by their choosing, are stuck in a rut.
Your life is crummy because you are stuck in a rut. But unlike a zoo animal, it is by your own choice. every day you do the same old thing at the same old-time. Over and over the routine repeats itself.
Here’s how to fix it. Dare to break out of your routine. On purpose take a different route to work. Add variety and spice to your life. This will not happen by accident. You must force yourself to break out of your rut. But it will be worth the effort.
7. Your life sucks because you refuse to say, “I’m sorry.”
You’ve messed up. There was no intent to hurt your friend or spouse. You didn’t try to ruin someone’s day. It wasn’t your goal to make their life miserable but that’s what you did. And you’ve decided to not apologize. Too much pride or a lack of commonsense kept you from repairing the broken relationship. And now, as a result, your life sucks.
Here’s how to fix it. If there are any magic words in the English language it is these: I’m sorry. Most of the time it is easy to start repairing damaged relationships. All it takes is for you to utter the magic words. Find the people in your life who need to hear these words, say them, and watch the magic happen.
Your life sucks but the good news is you can fix it. Sure, it will take time and effort. But you can do this. You can stop making excuses. And it all begins when you want something better for your life.
This is so true, Randy. I am so thankful my life doesn’t “suck!” I won’t let it! PTL!
Spot on as usual Randy! I love the, “Your life sucks…”! Yup, “…cut through the crap and hear the truth.” Blaming just keeps you stuck! And, I think, much is out of fear.
I love the quote, “A rut’s a grave with the ends knocked out.” Gotta get out of the rut! Just a small step in the opposite direction can make all the difference!
Thanks Garry. “Blaming just keeps you stuck” is so true. Small steps, connected together, make a huge impact. Thanks friend!
Awesome! You’ve not only outlined a great way to get one’s life back on track, but also greatly increased my appreciation for the fact that my life DOESN’T suck. Go wheelchair dogs! And people!
Thanks Kathleen. One of my worries about writing an article like this is that people might get the impression my life is perfect. Not the case! But I’ve learned a lot in my years on the planet. Go wheelchair dogs!
Randy, I always enjoy reading your emails. This reminded me of the words of wisdom the speaker gave at my High School graduation (I bet very few people can remember the topic much less what they actually said.) The topic of his speech was “May you never reach your goal” As you progress toward your goal you need to keep moving it , never stop growing. If you reach your goal you are done so keep it ahead of you with a new one.
What a great message! I can’t even recall who spoke at my high school graduation!
This is my first time coming to your sight. This article has touched me and is so deeply profound for me right now where I am at on my journey. Feeling stuck. Focused on the past. Letting go of old dreams…this is my current battle. You make it sound so easy but then again perhaps it really is.
I see your credentials and that you are a retired minister. My walk is what has kept me going for the past two years. My current prayer is “Lord, what is my divine appointment?” “How can I take the mess and use it for good for others?”
Everything you said has resonated deeply with me. Thank you.
Hi Susan. I’m glad you found your way to my site. So sorry for the battle you are going through. I know from experience it is easy for me to write about how to do something than to actually do it. Dealing with the past is an example. It isn’t easy. It takes work and time. I will be praying for you.